Recent work examining astrocytic physiology centers on fluorescence imaging approaches, due to development of sensitive fluorescent indicators and observation of spatiotemporally complex calcium and glutamate activity. However, the field remains hindered in fully characterizing these dynamics, both within single cells and at the population-level, because of the insufficiency of current region-of-interest-based approaches to describe activity that is often spatially unfixed, size-varying, and propagative. Here, we present a paradigm-shifting analytical framework that releases astrocyte biologists from ROI-based tools. Astrocyte Quantitative Analysis (AQuA) software enables users to take an event-based approach to accurately capture and quantify the irregular activity observed in astrocyte imaging datasets. We apply AQuA to a range of ex vivo and in vivo imaging data, and uncover previously undescribed physiological phenomena in each. Since AQuA is data-driven and based on machine learning principles, it can be applied across model organisms, fluorescent indicators, experimental modes, and imaging resolutions and speeds, enabling researchers to elucidate fundamental astrocyte physiology.